Dragonfly Design

Angel Sweet Angel…..

Let me tell you about my day…… It began at Bellevue Hospital,waiting for the dreaded “boob squishing”, otherwise known as a mammogram.  I know it is a small price to pay for a test that can save your life, so willingly I take off my top and put on the hospitalgown that smelled like fabric softener. I was next – she called my name into the small, dark room.  She was vibrant and full of life, adorable,petite stature, make-up, hair and nails all accenting her naturally goodlooks.  She asked my name and thenstarted talking so fast I thought my head would spin off.  You know now with the brain injury, it isharder for me to follow along like I used too. I asked her to slow down so it would be easier for me tounderstand.  She graciously began tospeak slower – I told her of my injury and she was clearly concerned.  As I disrobed in the darkened room to beginthe exam – I spoke of the accident, my son and the calling for me to start theJust Drive Campaign.  The exam waited aswe spoke to one another, connecting to each other.  I asked her to promise me that she would JustDrive – “pinkie swear” I said, like a child back in grade school – and shedid.  She hugged me and I hugged herback.  She told me that she would bedifferent from that day on – be more aware while driving.  I told her that is all that I ask.  We finished the exam and as I dressed andwalked from that room.   She said my name is Angel – remember Angel!  I told her I will remember her.  Angel – Angel,  I said to my self and said a prayer for her tobe safe out there and that we – Angel and me can maybe save a life!  Sometimes, I think we are held back by…”Whatcan I do” little old me – “How can I make a difference?”  We can, each one of us….Me, you, Angel,  by simple acts of kindness, paying attentionwhen we drive,  telling someone you lovethem – these are the chances to make a difference.  We may not move the mountain all today, butwe can move the stones, one by one and eventually we can move that mountain. Sohere is your chance to make a difference – start today, tell them about Just Drive becauseyou love them and want them to be safe and maybe YOU can save a life!  I appreciate you and your time.  As always, I wish you peace and joy in yourlife and remember to Just Drive!

I know the cardinal rule....never bring up religion or talk about religion or mention it among your peers.  It is a private and personal voyage each person must find on their own.  And yet to most of us - it defines us, it is how we lead our lives, it is the decisions we make.  So why is it so hushed and almost a taboo to speak of - and yet it is what makes us - US!  My take on it , religion that is, is my personal journey, may not be yours,  not expecting it to be, but it is part of me - a part that makes me complete, makes me whole.  A philosophy of sorts... to be a philospher is to be a thinker, someone to look beyond just what the eye sees to get to the depth - the soul of the experience.  So to me religion is my philosophy - I am looking beyond what is right in front of me.  Remember You need to believe it "before" you can see it... Religion is kind of the same.  We are created, born with all the glory of potential...it is there - it is inate - right from the beginning we have the possibility to bloom and grow with each minute of the day.  It is our obligation to live our lives to our fullest potential.  Oh, sure you are thinking....well what is that potential, what am I supposed to do, how do I do it and where do I start??? First there is no beginning or no end to potential - it is a moving force that guides us, help us find the path, we just need to listen to that voice so to speak, the voice of God, the voice of a philosopher, the voice of your soul.  We are given a blessing each day - another opportunity to live up to our potential, to be the best we can be, to find that voice and run with it. It is our obligation to do that each day.  No excuses, not "maybe tomorrow" - NO - now is the time - today is the day, dig down deep and listen, just be quite and listen to that voice. Hear it, except it and live up to it.  I can agree - it is harder than you think - or easier said than done, but I know far too well, life can be gone in a blink of an eye.... and maybe today is the day I listen to God, or the philospher or my hearts deepest desires because our life here is fleeting and we have all that potential to live up to; so lets get going and start right now - what are we waiting for.  Get moving! Get out there!  Make it happen!  Let me know if I can help! I wish you the best - I wish you one of our greatest blessings - potential, and as always I wish you peace & joy in your life.

Well, tell me that I am not the only one, we all felt that crispness in the air.  Sure I was on the beach with the sun warming my face and body a few days ago, but I did feel it - that air that reminds you of the fall.  The trees that shade us from that warm sun are now starting to turn the shades of the earth, darkening with each passing cold night.  This weekend the signs were there, a crisp leaf crunched under my flip-flop and I knew this would be the last day at the beach - well at least in the scantly clad ensemble I was wearing at that moment.  I knew as my feet crunched a few more leaves that this was the end of summer.  Kind of a passing if you will.... gone.... not returning.....hopefully treasured.  So now I am thinking - did we let this short time of ours fly by without the treasured moments we will remember for a lifetime.  No - it was however a time of healing, a time of change and a time of trying to find myself again under the fog, find that sparkle of personality.  I have come a long way my friends, but I do look forward to feeling whole again.  The days that were sunny we made the best of them - sitting on the beach, the dock and then the beach again.  Enjoying the boat - skiing like we were 20 years old again, but realizing the next day we were not 20 years old and the moans that filled the beach each time they sat down were reality enough.  "We still got it!" the guys would say, "Well we still got a little!" became the motto - the aches and pain were worth every last moan.  And as for the sun or there lacking of this summer - we made the best of it.... a bunch of us hanging at the beach, food, cocktail and the big black cloud on the horizon...."It will go around us!" was the consensus.  WRONG!  How many friends can you fit under a big green beach umbrella?  About eight we figured.  So there was still room for our friends who just got on their boat in the pouring rain starting to head over.  Eventually we headed to the pontoon boat with the roof, food and cocktails in hand of course, the party was not over, we laughed the whole way there.  Good Times - Good Times!  LD driving his bike off the end of the dock with two life preservers attached so the bike didn't sink all the way to the bottom....100% redneck fun!  Mark giving plane rides to all of his buddies - circling the beach and the waves below them.... giving them an experience of a life time!  So there you have it - there were those treasured moments....many of them.  Oh sure, alot of sitting around with sand between your toes, but sometimes it is the simply pleasures of God's green earth and good....no, great friends to share the view.....thanks for the moments.  Peace & Joy, Pattie

Hello my mature friends,  Can you tell that I am having one of those I am feeling a littel bit old right now kind of days......Like I said earlier - don't you hate when you wake up now and your body makes cracking noises from your head to your toes.. What the heck!  How did this happen - I was only 29 a few days ago.... I am starting to sound like my mom..."wait 'til you get older"  OK! OK! I am getting to be the "older" and I know what you mean.  Mind you I am not complaining - just coming to reality of how fast our time here goes.  You know though... as I think about it - I am in pretty good shape now - running (well getting back to running), working out, eating right... all the stuff your should do, but most of all - I am confindent and strong.  This I would not trade to be 29 again.  Like a fine wine - we girls, we ladies are getting better with age.  Oh, I know we may not all have the body we had when we were 18, but who does.... some 18  year old don't even... but we have experience - we have life and its lessons.  This is what makes us strong, and confident! We have our families, our ups and our downs.  Each experience lends it self to a lesson learned and we take that - and that makes us.  Wine does not get better without tender loving care... picking the best grapes, adding the right amount of sugar, letting it sit silent for as long as it needs to bring out the flavors.  We need to be cultivated as well....we need to ripen and have time to our selves, we need to be sweet, but not putting our selves aside to do it and we need to sit in silence and hear what our hearts and soul want from us.  Ladies we are fine wines.  So drink in life - experience it - live it and love much... as always I wish you peach and joy, CHEERS!  

Chello friends - another weekend day filled with drizzling, soggy rain!  What the heck!  No boat, no beach, no lounging on the dock catching the rays.... by rays I mean of SUN - you remember the SUN don't ya?  The boat sits idle in the bay waiting, yearning to be uncovered and run full bore over the waves of the Sacandaga.....But no - there it sits.  Another week or so and it will be sitting in the back yard on grass - not moving for a year.  So what do we do - what can we say.... sure we don't  like it but the weather is like your age - no sense getting upset about it - you cannot change it so instead embrace it - the weather, have  a parte' that is what we are doing tonight, food, fun, games.  But the age thing - runs a little more deep than the weather forecast.  I know there are the days you wake up with a few more creaks in your back, or the nights you hit the hay a little bit earlier knowing you have to get up and go to work the next day.  Remember the days - carefree - we didn't care if we went to work tired, or really even cared if we went at all, but now being the responsible adults we are now, we tend not to blow off a day of work for a concert at SPAC.  Yeah, I saw the wrinkles this morning too - still having faith in the $70 eye cream working wonders by the time I get dressed and head down stairs... I have not lost my optimism!  But as I look closer to those little lines that form in certain area.... around the eyes - I notice them more when I smile - huh? Imagine that...when I am happy my lines show up more, huh!?  It hits.... these lines were created by the happy, not the sad, by the smiles and not the frowns - here they come again those lines.....wow, I must have smiled alot, been happy alot to have this landscape around my eyes.  As I look even closer - they are around my mouth as well.   Consistant with the happy and the smiling I think.  So, as I look for one last time - my eyes seemed to sparkle as I looked at each of those lines differently... these are my good times, my laughs, my memories - My Life! I may not say goodbye to the eye cream just yet, but I will hope that with each line it fades - new ones will come to replace them.  Well with that said - go enjoy your wrinkles and many happy wrinkles in the future!

Hello all - new chapter here.  The Starting Line. The last time I wrote, I felt a little bit lost in the fogginess my brain still has from the car accident.  Well - the fogginess - the pausing is still there but as I think about it - is this it? - is this the "change" of how to live my life differently?.  Friends have asked.... "Has the accident changed you",  "Does it make you realize how precious your life is", "Do you have a new found appreciation for life?"  If I were to answer quickly.... I would say yes, but with a little bit of thought I realize no... Changed me?  No, my brain in thinking differently - appreciating the simply things that life has to offer like the sun on my face, the view of the lake and mountains during the summer,  friends and laughs.  Did it make me appreciate how precious life is?  No - this I know, our time here is fleeting, each day of giving love and receiving love is a blessing. Maybe my brain is slowing down to help me see more clearly, more simply , to help me understand - these are the gifts that are precious.  So here is the starting line...... this is were we begin, begin again.  Remember to enjoy the simple things in life.  Don't forget to laugh, surround yourself with good, happy people.  Next time you kiss, make it last, feel their lips against yours, drink them in.  Don't be afraid to touch them, feel them, hug them.  Tell them you love them.  We know this - we don't need to be in an accident or have your life flash before your eyes.  To all of you out there - I love you!  Corny maybe, but true.  And as always I wish you peace and joy in your life - take care of each other.  See you soon.

Hey friends, me again, at least I think it is me.... Looks like me, acts like me, but thinking  like me is a little bit harder right now.  I have come to terms with missing out on a month now of my life from the accident, but still having trouble regaining my life.  Oh, sure I get up, take a shower, get ready, go to the market, but what else?  Feeling lost, forgot what I do from day to day, forgot what my life was like.  I feel like I am getting there, remembering that we have a garden and I can pick veggies each day, remembering I love to bake.  The chocolate chip cookies and blueberry muffins came out great by the way.  I notice people look at me differently, wonder what happened, why is she talking like that, why can't she remember her zip code or social security number??? I guess it is good that I do not realize I am doing it or that I am speaking differently.  I am really using the "blonde" card here.  I tell my friends that I am going to make a t-shirt that says.... "I was in an accident, What is your excuse?"  Hey, now I have an excuse... the only thing is, is when I get better what excuse will I have then?  I guess I can lean on the "blonde" thing... has worked in the past,  actually used it quite often.  To look at me, the black and blues have faded,  but inside there is much healing to be done.  The aches and pain get better each day, but regaining the person I was seems to be harder to reach.  Again, believe it possible, I will get there, but this time - seems like a lot of time, is going very slowly.  I do not care about remembering my zip code or Social Security number, I am blessed that I remember my family and friends.  Saw a friend in the market today and she asked if I remembered her and other friends.... Yes I do - thank God!  Realizing that I have kept my life and just a few part are tucked away for a bit and will show themselves in time.  Do not worry though - I do know I love beading!!!!! and I am looking forward to scheduling some classes this fall.  So keep your eye out.  I can say with out a doubt that I am thankful for all of you.  So bare with me and soon I will be back, hopefully better - the new and improved model!  I wish you all peace and joy in your life and thanks for listening. 

Hello all, Just wanted to let you know that I am still here, recovering slowly but surely!  My sneaker are now out of the closet and back on my feet, wearing away the tread on the pavement.  Not back to a full run yet, but on my way!  I was at the Y for the first time since the accident to workout.  Got the approval from the Doc.  I started off with a nice walk, slow but a nice pace.  Big smile on my face..... I was doin' it - getting back to my excersie routine that I loved so much.  I walked on the treadmill about a half mile and took off for a run - again slowly.  Felt good.  It was all coming back to me.... like they say if you fall off a horse get back up on it and ride!  That is what I did.  At about a mile, my back was saying NO! I stopped and walked a little bit.  Keeping a pace of a slow turtle... I was pissed, wanted to swear out loud, but held it in due to the fact that the other members at the Y would not appreciate my mood.  Then, there they were.... a little welling up in my eye, the tears made it hard to see - literally "hard to see".  At that moment I could not see me running again like I used to - disappointing - depressing - a blow to my usual optimistic out look on life.  Hard to see me recovering fully..... So there I am, what do I do.... drop to my knees and cry into my hands?  Would it help my back? NO! Would it make me feel better? NO!  I knew I needed to suck it up, wipe the tears and say that this is just the first time and that I needed to be positive.  So I moved from the machine, picked up some free weights and pumped up my muscle that didn't hurt and felt strong again.  Positive again, optimistic again.  STRONG!!  My motto while running had been for quite some time is I am Strong! - I am Confident!  I guess I just forgot for a little while.  I left the gym that day a little bit sore - heading right to the chiropractor feeling a little bit like my old self.  Talked to a friend later that day.  He told me this... you know how they say "I'll believe it when I see it", he then said "You will never see it until you beleive it!"  You have to Believe It Possible!  So now I can see it... I believe it possible, I believe it true.  I know my back may give out again on that treadmill, but I will slow up and let it be the boss - knowing that one day soon, it will not bother me anymore. I will recover because I believe it possible - simply enough.  Again to all my friends... You will never see it until you believe it so believe it possible!  Thanks for listening. 

Hello my friends it's me again.  Boy, give me two weeks off and I come back with a vengeance.  I guess the stories and thoughts were all bundled up and tucked somewhere beneath the fog in my brain and now with sunny skies ahead the thoughts can see their way out.  I actually drove to the lake today.  Tedious ride all the way but made it safely with my boy as co-pilot.  First long drive and a new car to boot, I think I faired quite well.  A lot to take in but I took that deep breath and did it.  The car is a dream, so pretty, rides great, and it's BIG!  Now as you know we had a Mini Cooper , needless to say is even smaller after the accident, totaled!  All smashed up!  I know you are thinking that is why we got a bigger car, because of the accident.  But as you know and can see that little Mini Cooper kept up safe,. Kept my son and I safe!  We walked out of that car that day.  So NO we didn't get a bigger car because of the accident with the Mini, we wanted this car and love all the room it has.  And if we are ever in another accident we hope this car will keep us safe as well.  Some say we were lucky, and as you all know  - I got a thing about luck!  Not a big believer in it.  Am I grateful to be alive? YES!  Am I thankful my son wasn't hurt badly? YES!  Were we lucky? No more than each day that I can wake up with a family that loves me and friends that go out of their way to help us.  We are blessed,  not lucky.  LD said to me after the accident, "Mom, we need a car with GPS because if we had it the day of the accident I wouldn't have had to give you directions and we would have not had the accident because I told you to go that way.  I held his hand and told him that the accident was not our fault ? We didn't do anything wrong!  Were we unlucky that day??? NO!  We are here because we need to be.  We have more to do in this world.  Oh sure it's just us, but maybe, just maybe we can make a difference that can change someone or something for the better.  Is this not our destiny, our blessing from above, the power inside to be the best we can be.  We just need to do it!  So everyday since the accident, I say, I am alive, not only my earthly shell but my soul ? So lets LIVE, get going, get out there and for goodness sake, have a great time doin' it!!!  Thanks for listening and as always, I wish you peace and joy in your life.

Hey - can you tell I am feeling better - one blog right after the other....  this is a thank you going out to all of our friends which are many.  We want to thank all of you for your thoughts and prayer during this ordeal.  You have been the best friends anyone could ask for.  Thanks for driving me all over town.  I think I went to all the doctors in Charlton, Burnt Hills and in Clifton Park.  I know some of you did it for the free dunkin donuts coffee or ice tea but that is OK, I got to were I was going didn't I? We are very blessed to be surrounded by such great family and friends.  It made this easier on all of us.  I do need to thank my husband for being the rock for me, for being my shelter and my shoulder to cry on.  I am lucky to have such a great man.  I guess we are pushing that in sickness and in health vow to the limits over the years.  I guess that is what it is all about - being there for each other, especially through the bad - that's the hard stuff.  So thanks for being there through the hard stuff.  We love you!  Pattie