Dragonfly Design

My aunt, Anna Theresa, the last remaining "family" on my dad's side, passed away at the age of 92.  I used her full name because of how beautifully it rolls from your tongue - Anna Teresa. She passed.... she passed peacefully.  Passed into the kingdom of God, passed into an energy that is like no other, passed on living another day of earthly life.  What ever you believe, whatever helps you understand is alright.  All I  do know is that she had left her earthly tent of weakness, left her frail body and mind.

As I drove to the nursing home a few days ago to pick up her belongings, I had a moment of relief, a moment that I was happy, I knew at that moment she would not have to bear another day with a body that ached and a mind that could not remember all the love and goodness in her life.  As I entered the building, I was greeted by the social worker that has taken good care of her.  He leads me to her "belongings".... 2 small boxes labeled Anna Teresa.  As I grabbed the small box from his hands and walked towards the car, the tears welled up in my eyes making it hard to see.  I put them in the truck and was ready to go.  As I sat in the drivers seat for a moment, the tears dripped from my eyes to my lap.  I said to my self ..here my aunt lived for almost a century and all I have left is two small boxes of belongings.  Belongings, belonging to whom? To me now.  As a tissue gently dried the tears that were streaming down my cheek, I realized that the life she had and why I loved her where not the "things" she had nor was it the things I would acquire. Yes, the boxes were small and yet her life was big.

Anna Teresa never married, never had any children.  I know the reaction that most would have.  The shear utter shock of not having a husband or family of her own.  Let me tell you about my aunt  Anna Teresa.  She worked after high school for a bank as a teller in Schenectady, where she remained for almost 30 years.    She had three glorious friends that she worked with and even lived with.  All four of them were so close they purchased an apartment building with four apartments in it.  They each had one.  They were a close knit family, traveling together to Atlantic City and any other place they set their sights on. They were together for many years.  As their age started to get the best of them, each starting to go their  different ways, some by necessity, some by family wanting to care for them.  At about 81, my dear aunt had stroke.  She recovered somewhat, we knew she could not be alone.  We had found her a new home at Kingsway Arms.  It was clean and the people were sweet and genuine.  They took good care of her.  She lived there about 10 years - the last few years with failing health.  I would visit once a week, bringing my son when he was able to go.  Her eyes would light up when she saw him enter the room, maybe not remembering his name but knowing she loved him.  I was the only one to visit her most of the time.  There were times when someone would go with me, most times they did not.  I sat with her, holding her hand that shook from the tremors left by the stroke.  I painted her finger nails and made sure she always had new socks to wear.  Some days in the beginning she knew me and then towards the end I had become the "lady" that was nice and loved her.  I did not matter to me, if I was her niece or the "lady", she knew I loved her and cared for her and that was good enough for me.  We spoke of times when she was young and how much her mother loved to garden. That is what I will miss the most.  I have always said that if I could have a few moments with someone that has left us - I would wish for time to learn about their life and how they viewed the world, what they did for fun as a kid, what was their favorite food and their dreams.  It would not be to tell them that I loved them.  This they knew, this they felt and I did tell them - every chance I got!  I will miss my dear aunt Anna Teresa and will know that she did live big - bigger than any two small boxes could ever hold.

The treasure of our life time are the moments we have with each other - simply put!  Sometimes we spend our time acquiring "things", boxes of things when in reality all the good stuff in our lives would never be put in a box.  Even if we did, it would not fit!  Our time here is fleeting so enjoy your life and make sure you leave this place with only a small little box for them to carry out!!!!